Harry Potter does things
by kimmerrz
Summary: Harry Potter pretty much does lots of stuff. Like, YouTube and FanGUY and stuff. Um, serious OOC-ness, so yeah. CRACK!FIC BABY!: sorry, chapter 3 is taking forever. If you know me in real life i'll let you read the unfinished 3rd chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**As you can tell by the title, I haven't got this thing worked out yet and also, no creativity. I have no idea how to work this thing- bear with me kay?  
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**Disclaimer thing: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't own the united states of awesome (HARRY AND THE POTTERS CAME UP WITH IT), I don't own Nerdfighter or YouTube or MacBook Pro or Alex Rider. Basically, I just own this really random crack. And Cantsay Tockman-Pesealhunt. I know, his name is _too _creative.  
**

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Somewhere in the distinct, in the land sometimes known as The United States of Awesome(USA), a secret society know as the Order Of The Phoenix were having a private meeting about a boy by the name of Harry J. Potter.

"Dude, his _my_ godchild, I'm keeping him! Besides, he's supposedly a nerdfighter so it should be all fine." A man named Sirius Black protested.

"You're serious?" Cantsay Tockman-Pesealhunt replied, evidently, in shock.

"Yeah, I am… I thought you knew me?"

"No I meant SERIOUS- not Sirius. S-E-R-I-O-U-S! THAT Serious."

"Well you don't have to get all defensive about it… Just 'cause my name's a pun doesn't change the fact that I'm keeping h-piddy."

"FINE. I'm LEAVING!" Cantsay shouted and left in a huff.

"CLOSE THE DOOR WHEN YOU DO!" Sirius shouted back. That guy was so annoying.

And, well, I know what you're thinking. "YOU SAID THIS WAS A !&#ING MEETING- NOT A STUPID ARGUMENT THING BETWEEN _TWO PEOPLE_!! DIE!! YOU ARE SUCH A BAD FAN-FIC WRITER! THIS WAS SUCH A WASTE OF MY TIME!!" WELL, you're half right- this is a waste of your time, BUT, there is more than two people in the meeting. They're just not interfering. Take Aberforth for example, he was busy tending to his goat to care. Anyway, while all these thing were happening, Harry Potter, the Harry Potter Cantsay and Sirius had been arguing about, was in on his MacBook Pro watching videos on the popular site . What you didn't know about HP is that he is what you call a v-logger. He video-blogs about his "life" as a teenage superspy under the fake name, Alex Rider. He's a supposed spy working for the MI6.

Harry was currently watching something called potter puppet pals- a comedy series by a guy named Neil Cicierega. It was about Harry, Ron and Hermione with often apperances by Dumbledore(who was often naked) and Snape(who was an emokid). He had to admit, while it was very insulting to him, it was extremely funny. He couldn't stop watching. AND ONCE AGAIN, because I'm a genius, I know what you're thinking- HARRY POTTER IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!!11!!ONE!! HOW DO THE MUGGLES KNOW!? Well, it's a long story and so I'll probably end this thing here and leave the story for the next chaper. Yeah?

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SUSPENSE. Not really actually, just crap and stuff.

zOMG HOW DO THE MUGGLES KNOW!?


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HP. TRUST ME, If i did Harry would have a beard, Ron would wear nailpolish and Hermione, well, she'd be called hermonieoney forever. AND I WOULD ALSO BE INSANELY RICHHHHHH.**

I'm back, dear reader, to ease you of you suspense

Aren't I a nice person. Then again, you're wasting your time by reading this so I guess not… ANYWAY, TO THE STORY.

We ended off with our boy Mr. H-Piddy watching Potter Puppet Pals on his MacBook Pro which begged the question- How did the muggles know of the amazing story that is HARRY POTTER? Well, the answer is quite simple! There was a really smart girl named Kimberly who told him! OKAY, maybe not. There was actually a really smart guy who also happened to be minister of magic at that time. His name was Canopus Quorum and he told Harry that it would be smart to make some muggle write books about him so if some muggle sees a dragon or something the other muggles would just think that the muggle had been reading too much Harry Potter. Harry agreed. So they planned and decided that Jo Rowling would be most suitable to write the book because she was extremely talented and made of awesome and would definitely do the story justice. While Miss Jo was on a train they had the idea slip into her head and well, the rest, as they say, was history.

In the current episode of Potter Puppet Pals HP was watching was called "The Vortex". In this episode, Snape dreamt he was a milkmaid, Ron was almost cooler than Harry and WAIT FOR ITTTTTTTTT. DUNDUNDUNDUUUUUUUUUNNN, Harry was a big jerk. With a big head but, it was so funny than even Harry couldn't get offended. Harry then proceeded to watch an old episode called "Bothering Snape". He was at the part was Dumbledore was dancing naked when suddenly, out of nowhere, DUMBLEDORE APPEARS. THE REAL DUMBLEDORE. "ZOMG!" Harry shouted. He tried to hide the video but he was too late. The real Dumby had already saw it. "Harry, what is that you are watching?"

"Uh… uh… NOTHING DUMBSTER." stuttered Harry. He was SO in trouble! OH NO!!

"DUMBSTER?"

Dumbledore leaned in and looked at the glowing screen. He gasped.

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! I CAN EXPLAIN DUMBLEDORE! I CAN!! YOU KNOW WHEN WE MADE THAT AWESOME LADY WRITE HARRY POTTER? SOME PEOPLE MADE PUPPET VERSIONS OF US AND MADE ME REALLY BIGHEADED AND MEAN AND EVERYONE ELSES SUCKS TOO BUT IT'S FUNNY SO I WATCH IT PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I KNOW I DEFEATED VOLDEMORT SO YOU DON'T NEED ME ANYMORE BUT PLEASE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD ANYWAYS AHH I NEED TO BREATHE"

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HOW DO THEY KNOW I DO THAT?! HOW?!" Dumbledore screamed in upmost embarrassment and pain.

Harry was lost for words.

Thanks BUNNYLIA for the end part. Sorry it's short, I know, I suck. :\

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